Raj Bains (Federal Way Family Law Attorney)

Wednesday, February 28, 2018

Co-Parenting and Extracurricular Activities

Kids these days are more active than ever before. Between increased school workloads, various after school clubs, extracurricular activities and sports, it’s astounding how busy (and often cluttered) children's lives have become. While all of these activities may look good on a college application or a job resume as the children get older, the fact is extracurriculars and sports are vital to providing children of any age some sense of normalcy as their parents go through a relationship breakup. These activities provide the children with opportunities to exercise, socialize with their peers, develop skills for themselves, and just to have plain old fun, away from any parental stresses.

As a parent going through a relationship break up, it is important to support the children in their pursuits, however this often becomes a point of disagreement as parents go through the family law process. For example, while in the midst of a divorce (or any relationship break up), one parent may not want a child to play a particular sport or engage in an extracurricular activity due to cost, loss of residential time, or for a variety of other reasons. Spelling out the particulars for children's participation in these activities can be successfully accomplished through effectively worded provisions of a Parenting Plan and Child Support Order.

Common Parenting Plan Considerations

Is the child's participation in a sport/activity something that is a "joint" decision that both parents decide upon, or can one parent simply sign the child up?
Has the child traditionally participated in this sport/activity, or have any desire to do so?
What are the consequences if practice, meetings or games occur on a parent's residential time?

Common Child Support Considerations

How will the sport/activity be paid for: proportionally based upon parent's income, equally, or just by one parent?
What if there are private training, travel , equipment, club fees, etc. beyond simply participating in the sport/activity, how are those costs allocated?

Providing your children with an outlet from your relationship breakup with the other parent is paramount to their adaptation and development during a very stressful time. However, as parents the child's participation should not be a point of disagreement with the other parent, a loss of residential time, nor break the bank. Discussing these concerns with an experienced family law attorney to establish provisions specific to your needs and the needs of your children is essential.

Family law litigation can be emotionally difficult and complex. Decisions made about each step of the litigation can affect you for many years. We have years of experience helping our clients with Committed Intimate Relationships and can help you through the process. Contact us today at (253) 838 – 3377 or email at office@bainslawfirm.com, to talk about your situation.

Disclaimer: All materials provided on this website have been prepared by Bains Law Firm for general information purposes only and no representation is made as to their completeness or accuracy. Information on this website is not intended as legal advice, and may not be relied upon as such. Only an attorney who can review the unique facts of each case and apply them to the statutes, case law and court rules can provide legal advice. Nothing in this website shall be construed to create an attorney-client relationship.

Successful Co-Parenting

Relationship breakups, whether it be divorce, separation or committed intimate relationships, is confusing and stressful for all families, but particularly so for the families with children. It is often difficult for newly separated parents to determine what kind of long-term parenting arrangement will be best for the children once each parent has established their own household.

In family law cases involving children, the court's primary concern is with the best interests of the children. This should be your primary concern as well. Here are some tips that will help you and your former partner co-parent your children as you navigate the process of establishing separate households.

Minimize chaos and establish a routine

Recognize that children are used to their routine and environment, try your best to maintain the routine as you all adjust to living in two households. Establish a "new normal" that reflects the old normal as much as possible.

Every family is different and there is no perfect formula for determining the right visitation schedule for a given family. An experienced family law attorney can help you develop a fair, balanced plan that is both tailored to your kids' needs and legally realistic.

Be consistent

Whether you have an informal or court-ordered schedule for time with your children, be sure to take that time on a consistent basis. If you absolutely must miss an opportunity to spend time with your children, be sure to contact the other parent right away and establish a time to make up for the missed visit.

Parental consistency and stability for children are also critical concerns for family law judges and commissioners when making custody decisions. Failure to follow your schedule for visitation could be harmful to your case and is certainly not good for your children.

Shield your children from conflict

It's also important that both you and the other parent make every effort to shield your children from legal proceedings, and from parental conflict.

In general, without casting blame, stick with age appropriate explanations of why one parent is no longer living at home. It’s very important to soothe a child's fears and confusion about the changes in his or her life, but your kids don't need to know the details of their parents' adult relationship.

Absolutely avoid getting into an argument with the other parent in the presence of your children. Address any grievances you may have with the other parent directly, privately, and as calmly as possible.

A formal parenting plan with specific provisions governing exchanges of your children can help you minimize face-to-face contact if you and your spouse are simply unable to interact without hostility.

Counseling is also a beneficial way to help the children and the whole family get through this difficult time.

Communicate (cautiously) in writing

Email and text messages are convenient ways to communicate with your spouse about your goals, concerns, and upcoming plans for your kids. There are several easy to use Co-parenting apps that can help parents establish a written record and reduce hostility, confusion and miscommunication.

But, most importantly - think before you click "send." Don't write or publish anything that you would not want a judge to hear. This also applies to social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Composing a long rant about your spouse's many flaws as a partner and parent might make you feel a little better in the short term, but your words are counterproductive to co-parenting.

If you’re unsure about how to best communicate with your spouse, the advice of an experienced family law attorney can provide you with a strategy for communicating with your spouse in a productive and effective manner.

Keep your focus on your kids

If the end of your relationship has been tough on you, just imagine how difficult it is for your kids. They're worried about you and they're worried about what is going to happen to them.

Check in with your kids to see how they're feeling. Talk to their teachers, coaches, and counselors, and work with them to make sure your kids aren't falling behind in school and other important activities. Try to be 100% engaged during your one-on-one time, even if you are feeling resentful or upset about the end of your relationship.

The benefits of continuing to be an involved parent no matter your relationship status, are intangible and invaluable to your children. Staying focused on your kids' needs not only strengthens your legal position, it also helps your children feel secure in an uncertain time.

Family Law litigation can be emotionally difficult and complex. Decisions made about each step of the litigation can affect you for many years. We have years of experience helping our clients through the difficulty of family law litigation and can help you through the process. Contact us today at (253) 838 – 3377 or email at office@bainslawfirm.com, to talk about your situation.

Temporary Orders: Temporary Relief or Temporary Problems?

In contested Family Law cases of any type (Dissolution, Legal Separation, Parentage, Committed Intimate Relationships, Parenting Plan or Child Support Modification) parties often go to court for Temporary Orders. The Temporary Orders govern the parties rights, duties and responsibilities before it is finalized as the case is pending. Temporary orders can address a wide range of temporary relief, such as Restraining Orders, Parenting Plans, Spousal and Child Support, who pays what bills, who can use what items of property (such as vehicles, or occupancy of a family home), and more. Typically, Temporary Orders last in duration until another order is entered; most commonly that is when the final orders are presented to conclude a case.

So what does a party do, if they disagree with the terms of a Temporary Order? Generally speaking there are 3 options: Motion for Reconsideration, Motion for Revision and a Motion for Modification of the Temporary Order.

Motions for Reconsideration of Temporary Orders

These types of motions are authorized under Civil Rule 59 and provide for a party to seek relief under several specific factors. Some of those factors are as follows: accident or surprise, newly discovered evidence, error in law, misconduct or simply that substantial justice had not been done. A Motion for Reconsideration must be brought within 10 days of entry the Temporary Order. Also, a Motion for Reconsideration will be decided by the same judicial officer who entered the Temporary Order. Some Washington State Superior Courts have specific local court rules on the procedure involved for a Reconsideration Motion, so it is best to consult with an attorney familiar with that county's process for a Reconsideration Motion.

Motions for Revision of Temporary Orders

These types of motions are authorized under RCW 2.24.050 and provide for a party to have a Judge revise what a Court Commissioner did in entering the Temporary Order. In several counties, Court Commissioners decide many Family Law issues. If one believes that the Court Commissioner made a mistake in the entry of the Temporary Order, a Motion for Revision to have the matter decided by a Superior Court Judge may be appropriate. A key distinction between Motions for Revision from that of Reconsideration is that a Motion for Revision is brought before the Superior Court Judge on the same evidence that was before the Court Commissioner. In other words, no new evidence can be filed to support a Motion for Revision. Similar to Reconsideration, a Motion for Revision must be brought within 10 days of entry of the Temporary Order. Also, as with Reconsideration, some Washington State Superior Courts have specific local rules on the procedure involved for a Motion for Revision. As such, it is again probably helpful to consult with an attorney familiar with that county's process for a Revision Motion.

Motions for Modification of Temporary Orders

These types of motions are brought when there has been a significant change in circumstances of the parties since the time that the Temporary Order was entered. Some examples might be that the primarily residential parent gets a DUI with children in the car, or a person paying support through no fault of their own, lost their job, etc. As with the above motions, consultation with an attorney is very important.

Family law litigation can be emotionally difficult and complex. Decisions made about each step of the litigation can affect you for many years. We have years of experience helping our clients with their divorce and can help you through the process. Contact us today at (253) 838 – 3377 or email at office@bainslawfirm.com, to talk about your situation.

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Trump's Tax Plan Has HUGE Implications Upon Divorce

In Washington State, when a party to a divorce is ordered to pay support (also known as maintenance, or alimony) to a former spouse, that payment is tax deductible. This means the party paying support ("payor") receives a tax benefit for the amount paid and the party receiving support ("payee") must pay taxes as earned income. However, the current tax system is about to undergo a big change.

Currently, divorce settlement is often reached when the parties agree to larger payments of support at a lesser after-tax cost to the payor. This is often seen as mutually beneficial for both parties as the payor receives the benefit of a reduced tax obligation and the payee receives the benefit of more income than might otherwise be forthcoming if the payee spouse was not receiving the tax deduction benefit. This will all change under the new tax plan.

Beginning in 2019, payments for spousal support will no longer be tax deductible for the payor. Additionally, the payee will no longer be taxed on the amount received. This will create a total re-evaluation of some divorce cases, as the higher earning spouse will now have increased leverage to argue for a lower support payment.

There are still some financial benefits that will remain for divorced spouses. For example, upon retirement, a person can claim spousal Social Security benefits based on the earnings of a former spouse, provided the couple was married for at least 10 years and the claimant remains unmarried.

Family law litigation can be emotionally difficult and complex. Decisions made about each step of the litigation can affect you for many years. We have years of experience helping our clients with complex property settlement and spousal support issues and can help you through the process. Contact us today at (253) 838 – 3377 or email at office@bainslawfirm.com, to talk about your situation.

A New Years Resolution to Divorce

Traditionally, Divorce filings spike dramatically upward in the month of January. In some years, the amount of new Divorce filings are up in January by almost 33% over any other month in the year. Many attorneys see a surge in new Divorce clients in January. In fact, the first Monday of the month is often referred to as "Divorce Monday" by Family Law Attorneys, and the entire month of January, as "Divorce Month." This dramatic increase in January Divorce is also consistent with traffic on Dating Apps, such as Match.com, which can go up by as much as 38% in the first week of January. This rise in January Divorce filings could be caused by a number of factors.

Many legal experts familiar with this trend believe the uptick could be because unhappily married couples wait until after the holidays to separate. Generally, this time is when families get together to enjoy the holiday season with each other. This is often reason enough to stay in a broken relationship for a few more weeks, without having to answer questions from that one nosy relative about their marital situation. Staying together during this time is particularly so for couples with children, as many parents want to make certain that their kids have as normalized a holiday season as possible.

Others experts have concluded that since January is traditionally the time for New Year's Resolutions, seeking a Divorce may be on the list as are losing a few pounds, quitting smoking, gaining financial stability--so why not, Divorce? An unsatisfying marriage can be a big reason to make change with the coming new year.

Financial factors, such as the filing of taxes, may be another reason for waiting until the next year to separate. Perhaps the unhappily married couple want to maximize their tax benefit by staying together at the end of one year, but begin anew with the next. It should be noted that with the recently passed Trump Tax Plan, there are significant tax consequences upon divorcing couples.

While the actual reasons may vary as to why more people file for Divorce in January as opposed to any other month, speaking with an experienced family law attorney is always recommended.

Family law litigation can be emotionally difficult and complex. Decisions made about each step of the litigation can affect you for many years. We have years of experience helping our clients with their divorce and can help you through the process. Contact us today at (253) 838 – 3377 or email at office@bainslawfirm.com, to talk about your situation.

Things to do Before Divorce

Educate Yourself About the Process

Before filing for any family law action, such as divorce (or Legal Separation and Committed Intimate Relationship) educate yourself about that process. This can be beneficial when you decide to move forward. Consulting with an attorney may be helpful. In addition to seeking legal advice, reading other materials may also be useful. Be selective, as there is a lot of inapplicable and misinformation online. As divorce laws vary from state to state, gathering information specific to Washington State is important.

Learn more about Divorce here:

- A Few Basics

- Legal Separation

- Committed Intimate Relationship

2. Spend Time with Your Children

Spending as much time as possible with you children is important. Consider how the potential change will impact your child’s needs, emotions, and health. Allowing time for fun activities is important but so is providing a stable routine. Above all else, children need to be reassured that they have the love and support of both parents, even if the whole family will not be together anymore.

Learn more about Children and Divorce here:
-Parenting Plan

-Child Support

3. Review and Edit Social Media

In this day and age, reviewing all Social Media is essential. Communications, pictures, and posts, are often used in Court as evidence. Remember, even if you believe these posts are private, the other party may have access to them. A careful review of all social media can be beneficial to avoid future embarrassment.

Learn more about Social Media and Divorce here:

-The Use of Social Media in Family Law

4. Gather Together Financial Records

Knowing the financial implications of a divorce is important. Splitting one household into two can causes strain on any family's budget. Your financial situation will be considered when determining child support, spousal support, routine servicing of monthly bills and even payment of the other party’s attorney’s fees. When the case reaches a conclusion, there will often be division of assets (property/accounts), allocation of debts, and consideration of retirement accounts. As a result, it is very important to gather up copies of tax returns, paystubs and various account statements for review prior to the filing of a case.

Learn more about Finances and Divorce here:

-Trumps Tax Plan

- The Family Business

Family law litigation can be emotionally difficult and complex. Decisions made about each step of the litigation can affect you for many years. We have years of experience helping our clients with their divorce and can help you through the process. Contact us today at (253) 838 – 3377 or email at office@bainslawfirm.com, to talk about your situation.

Temporary Orders: Temporary Relief or Temporary Problems?

Motions for Reconsideration of Temporary Orders

Motions for Revision of Temporary Orders

Motions for Modification of Temporary Orders

Family law litigation can be emotionally difficult and complex. Decisions made about each step of the litigation can affect you for many years. We have years of experience helping our clients with their divorce and can help you through the process. Contact us today at (253) 838 – 3377 or email at office@bainslawfirm.com, to talk about your situation.

SUCCESSUL CO-PARENTING

Successful Co-Parenting

Minimize chaos and establish a routine

Be consistent

Shield your children from conflict

It's also important that both you and the other parent make every effort to shield your children from legal proceedings, and from parental conflict.

Counseling is also a beneficial way to help the children and the whole family get through this difficult time.

Communicate (cautiously) in writing

Keep your focus on your kids

If the end of your relationship has been tough on you, just imagine how difficult it is for your kids. They're worried about you and they're worried about what is going to happen to them.

Friday, February 9, 2018

Committed Intimate Relationships

Washington State recognizes Committed Intimate Relationships (previously referred to as: Meretricious Relationships). There is no specific definition of what constitutes a Committed Intimate Relationship, instead the Court will consider relevant factors that have been developed over the years to determine if such a relationship exists. The bottom line when considering the factors is that the more marriage-like the relationship, the more likely a Court is to consider it a Committed Intimate Relationship.

The factors for a Committed Intimate Relationship are as follows:

Continuous, exclusive co-habitation during the relationship, or living together the same home as a couple;
Duration of the relationship, or having been together for a long period of time;
Pooling of resources and services for joint projects during the relationship; such as home improvement projects, buying a home together, or simply maintaining joint accounts;
Intent of the couple to be involved in a marriage-like relationship, such as having children together or referring to each other as "my spouse/wife/husband"
Purpose of the relationship, or enjoying the benefits of marriage such as companionship, friendship, love, sex, and mutual support.

Any one factor is not necessarily more significant than the others and in some cases all factors do not need to be present. Determining whether a Committed Intimate Relationship exists is dependent on the specific factual and legal aspects of each individual case.

After a Committed Intimate Relationship has been established, the Court has the authority to divide property, allocate debts, divide retirement with some limitations, establish a parenting plan and order child support. However, unlike cases where the parties were actually married, the Court cannot award spousal maintenance (alimony) or award attorney’s fees in Committed Intimate Relationships.

Property Division & Debt Allocation

At the end of a Committed Intimate Relationship, the court will divide only community property and community debts. All property (except gift or inheritance) acquired during the relationship is presumed to be community property. Property acquired before the relationship or following separation is also presumed to be separate in nature. The division of community property should be fair and equitable. This may be a 50/50 division, or it may not. In some cases when one member of the relationship is economically disadvantaged, a greater award of community property may be appropriate.

The division of community debts is similar. Debts acquired during the relationship are presumed to be community in nature, while debts acquired before the relationship, or following separation, are presumed to be separate in nature.

Retirement

The Court may divide the parties Retirement Benefits and will do so based on what is just and equitable. While this is an unsettled area of the law, generally the Court a divide a partner’s private retirement account. Generally governmental benefits are not divisible.

Parenting Plan/Child Support

The Court can establish a Parenting Plan and Child Support. Regardless of what type of relationship the parties have, each parent has a legal responsibility to care for and support their child.

If you believe that you may be in a Committed Intimate Relationship, and the relationship might be ending, it is highly advisable you seek the advice and assistance of a experienced family law attorney.

Sexual Assault and Social Media

For victims of Sexual Assault, Internet trolling of their social media is often commonplace. Postings from Facebook, Instagram, and other social media sites are often used against the victim as the matter heads to Court. Social media may be used to undermine the victim’s credibility, and to otherwise cast doubt about their claims of sexual assault.

Caution should be taken whenever using social media, as even when a post is deleted from an account, it may be accessible somewhere else. Being aware of the audience is important because even a “blocked” person can access a post through a third party. Or a person could be unknowingly "tagged" in an embarrassing photo which is used against them at a later time. Please see more information regarding social media at Use of Social Media in Family Law.

Sexual Assault cases generally involve situations where "nonconsensual sexual conduct" or "nonconsensual sexual penetration" is alleged to have occurred. Specific definition of these terms can be found at RCW 7.90.010. For reference please see the chart below and Sexual Assault Protection Order.

Who Can Bring an Action

A person who does not qualify for a Domestic Violence Protection Order, and is a victim of nonconsensual sexual conduct or nonconsensual sexual penetration, including a single incident, may petition for a civil order. Minors under age of 16 with parent or guardian. Courts may appoint a Guardian ad Litem for either Petitioner or Respondent at no cost to either party.

Notice to Respondent

Notice of Civil Order served on the Respondent. Notice by certified mail, or publication authorized in limited circumstances.

Violation of Court Order

Mandatory arrest for violating restraint and exclusion provision. Possible criminal charges or contempt. Class C felony if assault or reckless endangerment, otherwise Gross Misdemeanor.

Duration of Order

Temporary Civil SAPO--14 days with proper service. Full Civil SAPO--Designated by Court up to two years. Criminal Orders--Designated by Court.

Family law litigation can be emotionally difficult and complex. Decisions made about each step of the litigation can affect you for many years. We have years of experience helping our clients through the difficulty of protection orders and can help you through the process. Contact us today at (253) 838 – 3377 or email at office@bainslawfirm.com, to talk about your situation.